The Frozen Day
Written on 1/18/2026 about the events of January 31 - February 4, 2026
During the first week of February, I was of course, obsessing about this. I was also trying to keep my options open and not put all of my eggs in one basket, so I signed up for speed dating again, and went on January 31. Around this time I developed a theory that Holly was actually lying about her Hagerstown boyfriend, so that she could conveniently say “I have a boyfriend” to people such as myself who might be sniffing around. This was based on the idea that she never brought him up, and on a couple of occasions it seemed like Eliza had to almost remind Holly that Holly supposedly had a boyfriend; like when everyone was discussing valentine’s day plans. I figured maybe Eliza was in on it.
My journal around this time reflects many ups and downs; at least one time during these weeks I had a fairly urgent call with my therapist. However, much of the time I was apparently having quite a good time with it; I felt myself to be in a grand adventure. My journal entry for Feb 2 just says this:
”I really like being myself, this is such an interesting and wonderful story that I’m living. Nothing is fine, but everything is. (Nothing notable happened today)”
As the weekend approached, the weather for Saturday, February 4 was projected to have a real-feel of -30 degrees farenheit. I think the heating system in my apartment was also fritzy around this time and tended to break under heavy load, so it broke on Friday night. Nour, Eliza, Holly and I made plans to spend the freezing day at Nour & Eliza’s apartment which had heat and no other roommates. I can’t recall what we did all day; some combination of board and video games, plus hot chocolate. As the day progressed, jokes about a “sleepover” progressed until we actually did decide to stay the night. Holly and I shared the couch in the living room, which was certainly not big enough for both of us. She was on the chaise and I got the rest of the couch, so we were perpindicular. We talked for a couple of hours after Nour and Eliza had gone to bed. She read me some of her poetry; I read her the one poem I’ve ever written as an adult. When we finally did go to sleep, I got very little sleep. Mostly I was tense; also the couch was small. I did quite enjoy hearing her breathe as she slept, for the first time.